Michael Sneed

The deadly loophole . . .

There's a little-known state law, which has never been enforcedin Chicago, that's gonna cause havoc for Dem candidates. It hasByrne biting her nails and will send Vrdolyak into a Croatiantailspin. The Catch-22? Isn't it true that anyone signing anominating petition for an independent candidate forfeits his rightto vote in a Dem or GOP primary on Feb. 24? In other words, don'tsign a petition for an independent if you want to vote in the primary- because independent candidates won't appear on the ballot untilthe April 7 municipal election. How does this hurt Byrne orVrdolyak? A lot of people sign petitions casually. This law couldbe easily enforced by taking a list of the independent petitions andassigning poll watchers on primary election day to challenge anysigners. Conclusion: Just be careful what you sign. Conclusion:Cook County Assessor Tom Hynes, who just decided to run as anindependent with Little Richie Daley's blessing, could wind up thespoiler extraordinaire. The Regan retreat . . .

Hmmmmmmm. White House Chief of Staff Don Regan, who is gray ofpallor and short of wind since Irangate crashed, did not attend theWhite House Christmas Party Tuesday eve. Dour Don's absence wasnoted, and Nancy did not seem displeased. More proof in the puddingthat Regan will be exxxed by Xmas? The trash can . . . The big quiz: What former alderman has been divorced by his fourthwife, has his house in foreclosure and has just filed for bankruptcy?Merry Christmas. Shades of the City Hall shower stall: Is it true Park District CzarJesse Madison had his drones working overtime to knock a hole in hisoffice wall so he didn't have to go down the hall to get to thelatrine? Has a Madison aide now drawn up plans for his own privatebidet? Just asking. It's Miller time: Watch for 1st Ward aldermanic contender Lee Millerto pass out 20,000 petitions calling for a rent strike at the publichousing projects. Whatta campaign gimmick! The mole probe: U.S. Attorney Tony Valukas has turned into a meanmachine: a vacuum cleaner. The feds have just subpoenaed thecampaign records of state Rep. Mary E. Flowers (D-Chicago). Why?Is it because Clarence McClain used to be her campaign treasurer?Isn't it true Clarence also lent her campaign money from his own warchest when he was running for ward committeeman back in 1984? Byrne strategist Doug Schoen claims their latest poll shows LadyJane beating Mayor Washington by one point. Wow. The war zone . . . State Treasurer-elect Jerry Cosentino is giving the First NationalBank an early Christmas present: a chance to lower its credit cardfinance charges before he removes state business from the bank.Cosentino decided to make good on his campaign promise and sent aletter to the bank that's got the bosses buzzing. So what'll he dowith the billion dollars in state business he'll pull out of banksthat don't comply? Put it in banks that do. Natch. Will a listappear next week? Stay tuned. D-Day!!!!! Watch for Ty Fahner, chairman of the Committee forHonest Elections, to drop a bombshell when he meets with members ofhis committee today to discuss what role, if any, the committee willtake in the upcoming primary and mayoral races. Isn't it true the$750,000 it'll take to do the job just isn't there? The job: In1984, the group took 175,000 people off the voting rolls. Prior tothe 1986 general election, they deleted an additional 34,000 in CookCounty. The watchdog group could make a big difference in theupcoming election. Stay tuned. The Hynes caper . . . The fact sheet: Ah, how the plot thickens. Scene 1: Tom Hynes holesup all day yesterday with GOP candidate Jerry Joyce and talks him outof running 'cuz Hynes wants to and that's what Little Richie Daleywants. Scene 2: Hynes tries to schmooze GOP candidate Don Haider,also a Daley ally, into dropping out. Scene 3: Haider tears whatlittle hair he has out of his cranium and then decides not towithdraw. The final curtain: a shroud. These fellas are onlyproving that Daley will again be a spoiler. Dum da dum dumb. sNeedlings . . .

Watch for state Rep. Jerry Washington (D-Chicago) - no relationto hizzoner - to announce his candidacy against Ald. Dorothy "TheHat" Tillman (3rd). Will Dorothy flip her chapeau? Stay tuned. . .. Country music singer Kenny Rogers was spotted flipping pizzadough at the Original Gino's East early yesterday morning. Doesanyone care????? . . . The Byrne beat: Jay McMullen, the formerfirst husband, is suffering from a bad sinus problem. sNeedless tosay, he hasn't been doing much cooking lately.

Michael Sneed's column will appear Sunday through Thursday.